Thursday, May 28, 2009

Wow, it's been awhile since I posted! Let's see, the newspaper article was published. I was very happy with it, got a few requests from other people for names of my LLMD. I started getting a lot of jerking/tic type symptoms. Had a bad episode on Mother's Day at church. It was scary, I cried and while I was jerking, my 3 wonderful kids came and put their arms around me, it was so sweet. I felt my 2 year old kiss my belly while I was jerking about. They are the best kids a parent could ever dream to have!

I've had it occassionally since, last time was last Saturday, May 23. I've been trying to eat mainly raw foods for about 1.5 weeks now, I've definitely slipped up some, but doing pretty good. Last weekend, I had really really sore legs and feet. To the point that it was extremely painful to walk downstairs. I also have been getting some more numbness in my finger tips and a 'vibrating' sensation in my left leg.

I've been depressed for the past 2 weeks, some days worse than others. A couple days I basically cried all day. No particular reason. I used to do that consistantly in 1997-1998. Depression is the monster in the dark I've been fearing since. I also had more anixety this past weekend, mostly on Monday thought. Also last Fri or Sat, I noticed these small purplish/pink itchy bumps on my thighs, mostly my right thigh. I took a picture so I have evidence!

Today as I was putting on my old ripped T-shirt and running type shorts (the irony!), I had the urge to try on some jean shorts. They looked good on me. I look tired, but in other ways, perfectly healthy. No one would have a clue how miserable my existance is.

I thought to myself, "I'm 30 years old. Most 30 year old moms put on jean shorts and a cute shirt and take their kids to the park to play and talk with other people."

Instead I'm holed up in here dreading sorting clothes today. I'm switching over from winter clothes to summer and it's just overwhelming to me! It sounds silly, but I had my husband get them out of the Attic a week ago and I'm still struggling to finish it. For my defense though, I was gone Saturday and Sunday, had to go to a funeral, baby shower (which I laid down a lot of the time) and a family thing on Sunday (which I again laid down most of the time, my legs were so horribly sore).

Oh, I also had terrible insomnia Saturday night. I used to get that a lot, usually I don't have problems sleeping though now.

I ordered Utopia Silver (colloidal silver) last week that is scheduled to arrive today. I'm hoping it works. I figured that if it makes my heart crazy like the Doxy, then it is die off and I won't be afraid to restart the Doxy.

I did have some heart symptoms on Monday that were kinda scary. Then I had some yesterday, but they just felt like PVC's to me, not that those are fun, but not as scary as the skipping stuff for a 10 seconds straight. Or tachycardia.

Well, I should go, haven't eaten much today and I have people telling me that I'm starting to look bad weight wise again, so I need to eat to appease them!