Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Wed, Nov 18, 2009

Wow, today is such a different day than yesterday! Last night around 6 pm, my legs started feeling very weak. Walking down the stairs scared me because it felt like my legs would give out.

Today my legs hurt so badly. My legs, feet, butt, and calves. The muscles are all so sore. I feel a little depressed. A few weeks ago, I was feeling so much better, and now I feel almost like I'm back to square one. My swallowing has been iffy as well.

I received an e-mail from Cedar Point, an amusement park in Sandusky, OH. They are having a full Triathalon and half Triathalon next Sept, 2010. I thought, 'wow, that would be fantastic!'..but I can't plan for anything with this stupid disease. Will I be better next year?? Worse?? Alive???

No idea! I had a few days in August of feeling 'normal' or as close to what I can remember as being normal and it was AMAZING!! Just amazing!! I smiled all day long, I'd forgotten what it felt like to have no anxiety, to have energy, to feel like you aren't dying, ect...

'Normal' people have no idea how lucky they are. If you are reading this and you are 'healthy', embrace it...please. You never know if you will be hit with a chronic illness someday and I am so thankful that my parents put me in gymnastics and I ran track and cross country when I was a kid/teen. I got to have that in my youth, even if I never run again, I know that I once did. Years ago.

I will be 31 years old soon. I want to be cured. I want to be well. I want to wake up and feel like I will have energy for the day and not to feel like something is killing my physical body. It's a horrible, horrible feeling.

I will be getting the Deseret Biological Homeopathics on Friday. I hope that I test well for them because I am ready to try it. I will rife this weekend. I will be getting lasered again tomorrow.

I will not rule out antibiotics. If we could afford IV antibiotics I would do that in a heartbeat!

It's crazy that our insurance didn't bat an eye when the doc requested an ECHO ($1200!) or holter monitor ($400). These are only diagnostic tools...but IV antibiotics can be used to get someone well!!! Of course, insurances rely on the IDSA's guidelines stating that Lyme disease is cured in 2-4 weeks, regardless of the fact that other spirochetal diseases can take many months/years to kill!!! It's just insane!

1 comment:

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